“What’ll it be?” he asked.“Uh,” I said, “I guess a Sex on the Beach?”“You got it,” the bartender said, and he started making my drink.I turned around and watched the go-go boys onstage. I was so used to checking out men in secret that I felt weird doing it in plain view. I kept having to tell myself that in a place like this, it was fine.The dancers were gyrating all over the stage, dressed in nothing but g-strings. They waved their bulges and asses at the crowd, while the people in the. "Maybe she's in one of those college initiations-like." Anothersuggested.One girl, looking bolder and more mannish than the rest, snickered."Thenlet's get her really initiated!" What do you mean?" A couple of the girls looked interested."Let's take her back to my place and keep her there a few days." Sheexplained enthusiastically, "We can find out who she really is and takepictures of her and make her give us money and do things for us! Youknow! Kind of like a slave!" I dunno," another girl. We had a nice dinner and when we arrived home, I initiated a sexual advance which he reciprocated but it was an almost perfunctory response. We had a fairly quick fuck and that was that. I felt like “what’s the use?”.The next week was work as usual for both of us but on Friday I bought one of my new outfits with me in a shopping bag and let it in the car. After work I told the girls I could not make it that night, previous engagement. They thought nothing of it and went for their night. " I'm not coming home now. You heard my deal. Take it or leave it. I'll call you again in five months. GOODBYE!" I again slammed the hand set down on the cradle and stumbled to my truck with fresh tears in my eyes.I sat in the cab of my truck in a daze until the heat became unbearable. I grabbed a cold bottle of water out of the cooler I had bought to store food but mostly beer in four months back. I did not lie about the drinking myself to sleep in the early months and the owner of the company.
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